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February 07, 2014

Dating for Mature Adults: How to Know You're Ready to Date

It’s that time of year again! Red hearts and Cupid’s arrows seems to be everywhere. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, you may be wondering if now is the time to explore new friendships and relationships. But how do you know if you’re ready to jump back into the dating pool after a divorce or the loss of your spouse?

The truth is only you can know when you’re ready. We’ve compiled a few things to consider to help you know if you’re ready to take another chance on love.

Check Your Emotions

The end of a relationship is a huge event in your life. Suddenly becoming single after decades of being a committed partner isn’t an overnight adjustment. It’ll take time for you to find peace with the hurt or anger you might feel. Those aren’t emotions you want to bring with you into a new relationship. So ask yourself: Are you still actively grieving your old relationship? Or has your heart truly healed?

Are You Happy With You?

Being single as an older adult is an opportunity to get to know yourself again. After spending years serving the needs of your spouse and perhaps your children, this is a time you can cater to your own needs and passions. Relationship advisor Carol Brody Fleet tells mature love seekers to focus on themselves first. Indulge in your hobbies and learn to love your life. When you are happy with you, you’ll be able to make wise choices about who will be a good addition to your life.

What’s Holding You Back?

Some older adults know they’re ready for a new relationship, but they don’t make themselves available. If you’re afraid of dating again, ask yourself what’s holding you back? If you’re insecure about your appearance, a little attention can change your attitude. Taking yourself out for a nice haircut and maybe a new wardrobe can give you a boost. Being attractive is as much about confidence as it is about appearance. 

Your concern may also stem from uncertainty about where to start. Many older adults are turning to the Internet to find relationships. In fact, AARP recently started a dating site designed to connect people age 50 and older. Online dating can be a less daunting approach than blind dates because you can chat with another person and see his or her photo and interests before you decide to meet. 

Want to learn more about forming relationships as you get older? Subscribe to our blog at www.kendalnorthernohio.org/blog

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